If I Had the Money That Bezos Had

  • Opublikowany Miesiąc temu

    CollegeHumor

    Trwanie: 03:10

    A song about putting Jeff Bezos' $200 billion fortune into context.
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t mull
t mull

Well, if you don't like how much money he has. Stop giving it to him by buying things on Amazon. lol

7 minut temu
Raihan Nafis
Raihan Nafis

I feel like im hearing jon tron every now and then like at the end theres a guy that sounds so much like jon

54 minut temu
FrazierMc
FrazierMc

Again with elon?

Godzinę temu
Saiaix
Saiaix

Fun song, I laughed, but I sometimes wonder about these millionaires and billionaires. We hear likely accurate statements of their net worth, but how much of that money can actually be liquidated? Bill Murray's net worth is roughly $142 million, does that really mean he could take it all out of the bank and hand it off in million-dollar chunks to the next 142 strangers on the street while saying "no one will ever believe you?"

2 godzin temu
Captain Fadnoex
Captain Fadnoex

Now it needs to be Elon Musk

9 godzin temu
N D
N D

I’d end homelessness and help the Malala fund global education. After that I’d focus my resources on outer space. Bezos just hordes his cash and has 5 mansions. What a waste of resources

10 godzin temu
Canadian Comrade
Canadian Comrade

Well there's a difference between net worth and liquid wealth. If you were to use all you're funds you would have to bankrupt the biggest company in the world and force thousands out of jobs just to receive a fraction of your wealth

2 godzin temu
Neil Ganguly
Neil Ganguly

Thank you for this video! If only there were more videos like this, then maybe people could understand these hard and depressing truths!

11 godzin temu
Radek Goláň
Radek Goláň

Stop buying shit from Amazon, kids.

11 godzin temu
Radek Rydzewski
Radek Rydzewski

First of all, I went through and checked the math in 5 minutes and found that about half of it was wrong based on the numbers shown in the video. Second, Bezos’ money isn’t in cash. Most of it comes from him owning more than half of Amazon stock, so liquid funds. Giving all of his money out would bankrupt Amazon, leaving a gigantic hole in the economy and thousands jobless. In summary, it’s not spendable money. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

12 godzin temu
Aziz Murotov
Aziz Murotov

Selling almost $180Billion in Amazon stock would take months and it would be disclosed with the SEC, which is public information. The investors in Amazon would start selling off their shares, furthers downgrading the stock, thus making Bezos’ shares be in the lows that he cannot suffice the needs to end homeless and have $14Billion left.

13 godzin temu
pixels GamR
pixels GamR

The rich are always selfish. The selfless are never rich. I hate this world.

13 godzin temu
pixels GamR
pixels GamR

@Meat Sausage my bad i forgot there are good people out there. Thank you for opening my eyes.

12 godzin temu
Meat Sausage
Meat Sausage

bill gates has donated 45 billion dollars to charitable causes Mr.Beast is worth 16 million

12 godzin temu
Icanooo
Icanooo

you know that the money he have isn't really liquid right?

13 godzin temu
Vincent Lee
Vincent Lee

ngl this song was pretty wholesome when you considered what it sang about what to do with money

14 godzin temu
Boris Life
Boris Life

I love how it's catchy, but also wrong.

15 godzin temu
Bluebearded
Bluebearded

Comrade CollegeHumor

18 godzin temu
Emerson Gallego
Emerson Gallego

And now Elon Musk is richer.

19 godzin temu
Holy Haggis
Holy Haggis

Okay, you can have Bezos and I’ll take Elon. Deal?

20 godzin temu
TheVisions OfAlchemy
TheVisions OfAlchemy

Work hard then Socialist

22 godzin temu
Nojatha
Nojatha

People who actually agree with the obvious political message of this song don’t know a thing about economics or how capitalism works. Jeff should keep investing his money into his businesses to create more jobs and provide good services. Plus, if someone in the working class wants to be rich, they should work for it, save up, and start their own business.

22 godzin temu
Nojatha
Nojatha

@Christopher Beer Please, name a business that would not allow their employees a toilet break?

10 godzin temu
Nojatha
Nojatha

@The Train Wage slaves? What? Wtf? “Oh no! I’m making money from a job I chose to work at! Curse that evil Jeff Bezos for not letting me have more money, even though the job I’m working is something literally anyone with two arms and a brain can handle! Oh woe is me!” Being a wage slave is just another term for someone who is new to the workforce with minimum skill. Quit acting so pathetic.

10 godzin temu
Christopher Beer
Christopher Beer

That's what the world need more employees that aren't even allowed to take a toilet break.

10 godzin temu
The Train
The Train

And perpetuate the wage slaves! Great idea. And also, starting a good business and having determination doesn’t guarantee success. Whoopsie!

12 godzin temu
Ewalko Beats
Ewalko Beats

now the sequel with elon musk

Dzień temu
Puggy_ Man
Puggy_ Man

This is a banger

Dzień temu
joshua khan
joshua khan

That last maj7 chord hit home

Dzień temu
Mr. Spy
Mr. Spy

I officially move to a new country with my family and friends

Dzień temu
Jake Gun
Jake Gun

This is disgusting and a massive political statement

Dzień temu
Robert Donut
Robert Donut

I see two thousand Republicans saw this

Dzień temu
Arthur
Arthur

*If I Had the Money That Musk Had

Dzień temu
Mr. BS
Mr. BS

Don't you mean Elon musk

Dzień temu
End Me
End Me

All of these people are saying that this money isn't in actual liquid assets but they know that the point was to show that Jeff bezos is a douchebag

Dzień temu
Devin Lee
Devin Lee

No... not how money works. Gosh, if only people had a high-school level understanding of the economy and how net worth as opposed to disposable income works! If besos were to even try to spend ONE billion dollars he’d have to sell his stocks in Amazon, which would collapse the company and throw the economy off its very delicate balance, and they still wouldn’t even be worth 8 billion dollars. Which, by the way, isn’t even enough to run the US government for 7 months! Whoops 🤷‍♂️

Dzień temu
Bill Horrill
Bill Horrill

he still rich, he should be able to give his employees living wages with time off and benefits whilst also paying fair taxes wherever his businesses run, but he can't even do that right! Whoops 🤷‍♀️

Dzień temu
Bill Hoang
Bill Hoang

Bezos is no longer the richest man in the world, so the tile should now be: If I had the Money That Elon Had.

Dzień temu
Kharn
Kharn

Bottom Line: Jeff Bezos is a massive douche.

Dzień temu
Ekl Haft
Ekl Haft

12 million years is more time than people live on the Earth but dinosaurss went extinct 64 million years ago. Just goes to say not only money pile up to obscene and unimaginable sums.

Dzień temu
pokeepoof
pokeepoof

If 1 dollar can get 1 tree planted and an estimated 3.5 - 7 billion trees are cut down each year and his estimated annual earnings in january of 2019 were 78.5 billion us dollars and his continued growth since then, he can effectively replace all trees cut down per year while having no impact on his current net worth in the video of 196 billion dollars while still adding billions per year to his net worth. Screw the ideas from the video, how about replace some forests before the former forest lands become dead zones where nothing grows and animal species are wiped out? Trees don't grow fast, you can plant a tree with your child and that child can be getting married by the time some trees are able to be harvested but that child can also be an old man or woman and the tree is still growing even after their own childrens elderly age comes and goes it still won't be ready. The video ideas are frivolous it is comedy afterall, but this is a real use of his income and it doesn't even take away from what he has or stop him making billions each year.

Dzień temu
Michelle Lee
Michelle Lee

Do the same for musk so his fanbois realizethat theyre all, just as greedy

Dzień temu
Varun Vadhera
Varun Vadhera

What is the real song

Dzień temu
Jeffrey Crenshaw
Jeffrey Crenshaw

People who think obscene wealth inequality (especially generated off the backs of the working class) isn't one of our largest problems are complete morons.

2 dni temu
Ⱬ

Inb4 "If I Had the Money That Elon Musk Has."

2 dni temu
Bacon
Bacon

It’s technically not LIQUID wealth therefore you would bankrupt Amazon and any stocks real estate and assets he has for a fraction of its worth because your crashing the Amazon market leaving you with around only 20-50 billion 20 billion being reasonable and 50 billion if you’re quite wise in stocks

2 dni temu
isaiah j. Delluvia
isaiah j. Delluvia

The 2k dislikers Think one day they'll be wearing the boot instead of LICKING IT.

2 dni temu
WizzyToons
WizzyToons

Btw world hunger costs 330 billion and bezos has 200+ billion, he can pay for world hunger for half of the world.

2 dni temu
tashigi smoker
tashigi smoker

its not a horrible idea logically to give but look at it at the economics side

2 dni temu
Bacon
Bacon

It’s technically not LIQUID wealth therefore you would bankrupt Amazon and any stocks real estate and assets he has for a fraction of its worth because your crashing the Amazon market leaving you with around only 20-50 billion 20 billion being reasonable and 50 billion if you’re quite wise in stocks

2 dni temu
Bacon
Bacon

Have a look at my comment I’ll put it in here

2 dni temu
Patty O’s
Patty O’s

Make the title musk

2 dni temu
ExoBats Machina
ExoBats Machina

I would like to work in Amazon. $16.54 living wage is very good enough.

2 dni temu
Bacon
Bacon

That’s more then double minimum wage

2 dni temu
Colton Marino
Colton Marino

Friendly reminder that most of his money is NOT liquid so he does not have access to most of his money without selling Amazon and all his shares. He likely has less than 1 billion actually in the bank, some speculate close to under 100mn

2 dni temu
Lord Unhold
Lord Unhold

yeah that is what bothers me most of the time when people say that those guys have so much money

Dzień temu
Alukat A
Alukat A

And with an UBI, all those employees could show Bezos the bird and tell him to shuff it into a place where the sun doesn't shine.

2 dni temu
IoEstasCedonta
IoEstasCedonta

Note that he could only do one of these things. And to do it, he'd have to liquidate Amazon (let's make the ridiculous assumption that that wouldn't shrink his net worth massively), which would probably end in mass chaos.

2 dni temu
Christian Kalligiannis
Christian Kalligiannis

this seriously just made me sad

2 dni temu
HessBenteTres
HessBenteTres

Next song would be: “If I had the money that Elon has...”

2 dni temu
DNL 1403 • hace 14 años
DNL 1403 • hace 14 años

He said that half of his worth is for making life better on the earth and the other half to make a colony in Mars so a song like this would't make sense

6 godzin temu
Captain Pants
Captain Pants

i guess its if i have the money that Elon has now

2 dni temu
pekok
pekok

unfortunate timing

3 dni temu
kNigo
kNigo

Uhm Actually you couldn't, because all his money is in amazon stocks and it would crash the stock market if he sold it all at once

3 dni temu
Jeannette Stewart
Jeannette Stewart

He did earn his money through hard work but he should be far more generous to his employees.

3 dni temu
jordan Michael siegel
jordan Michael siegel

I think there should be a limit to how much you can hold. Not in a communist way, but like 1 billion tops. That way 1% of the top richest wouldn’t freaking hold about 50% of the world wealth

3 dni temu
Kevin Britt
Kevin Britt

"How dare he keep his money"- people who say they'd donate money until they actually get it

3 dni temu
a dude on the interweb
a dude on the interweb

"i don't think i could spend it all even if i wanted too, it's terrific" -Bill gates

3 dni temu
Scott
Scott

why do i feel like this is promoting an agenda?

3 dni temu
Scott
Scott

@HouseLover MikaelZach well yes i know, but it wasn't exactly this blatant a couple years ago, they used Toa actually try to make funny stuff

Dzień temu
HouseLover MikaelZach
HouseLover MikaelZach

Cuz it is. Collegehumor is filled with lefties.

2 dni temu
DIY Hamster World
DIY Hamster World

Hello I love your video so much🔰🌻🌺🍎🍍🐹

3 dni temu
Führer des Benutzers
Führer des Benutzers

I'd spend all my money for baguettes.. just a gargantuan mountain of baguettes

3 dni temu
2Dguy
2Dguy

im literally crying

3 dni temu
2Dguy
2Dguy

imagine not stacking all your money as a billionair

3 dni temu
GrimDesires
GrimDesires

This is one of those videos that is well... Too informative... I lost faith in humanity... Again... Ending homelessness and still being a billionaire? Why don't we do it?! Oh right... Greed...

3 dni temu
GrimDesires
GrimDesires

@ok man so somebody likes anime, and that's your excuse to be a dick?

3 dni temu
ok man
ok man

You are the reason i lost faith in humanity

3 dni temu
ok man
ok man

Stfu anime man

3 dni temu
Collin Wade
Collin Wade

This got depressing with the minimum wage part

3 dni temu
Abhijeet Pandule
Abhijeet Pandule

Then add another yen more stacks hey

3 dni temu
Apollo
Apollo

its net worth he literally cannot use 99% of it

3 dni temu
Lord Lopikong
Lord Lopikong

The reason why you don't have as much money as Bezos has is because your not able to do what he can do.

3 dni temu
Christopher Beer
Christopher Beer

You're right, I can't treat people who work for me like complete shit as he does.

10 godzin temu
HouseLover MikaelZach
HouseLover MikaelZach

Exactly.

2 dni temu
Thomas Prybylski
Thomas Prybylski

I guess we can’t do that. wow

3 dni temu
Thomas Prybylski
Thomas Prybylski

He got really lucky

3 dni temu
Law Student Till 2024
Law Student Till 2024

That's the reason why you will never have that kind of money, you think about how to spend your money. He thinks about making more money form his existing money.

3 dni temu
Lord Lopikong
Lord Lopikong

Alot of people hate bezos because he exploits his workers and people say his greedy....well, that's exactly why his rich and your not. You think like Bezos won the lottery and suddenly have the money but in truth he built his foundation from the group up with hard work and perseverance unlike people who complain in the internet that he can do more

3 dni temu
Sam Laufer
Sam Laufer

This actually bops, but update it now that Elon musk has more

4 dni temu
David Sunga
David Sunga

That was very catchy. I liked it

4 dni temu
HouseLover MikaelZach
HouseLover MikaelZach

It's based off of dumb ways to die.

2 dni temu
Matthew Delzer
Matthew Delzer

I know these are supposed to be satire, but I hope they know that net worth isn’t the same as how much money they really have.

4 dni temu
Double_J
Double_J

Exactly

4 dni temu
a Bányászó Csákányka
a Bányászó Csákányka

If I had the money that Elon has! Think of the rockets I could launch!

4 dni temu
Lord Lopikong
Lord Lopikong

Probably not the same as him, but cat girls though 😏

3 dni temu
patrick boner
patrick boner

Omagine what u could do if u had the amount of money that musk has

4 dni temu
1FrostySlime
1FrostySlime

Now, what about if I had the money that Elon Has?

4 dni temu
Tyler Sanders
Tyler Sanders

Another group of people thinking the net worth of amazon means that he has the cash to solve the world's problems

4 dni temu
Double_J
Double_J

Shh! They need someone to blame.

4 dni temu
Azophi
Azophi

"Average bathroom break time: 9 minutes" Teachers when they say go during the 4 minute passing period

4 dni temu
DamsAreBiotic
DamsAreBiotic

Now I get why people like communism

4 dni temu
Zanarax
Zanarax

this just makes me sad, maybey comunism isnt so bad after all...

4 dni temu
Andrea M
Andrea M

@SeanEee Oh yes, totally agree

Dzień temu
Lord Lopikong
Lord Lopikong

Communism is an ideology. Everytime a communist country starts up it's always a a corrupt leader and that why it fails. Communism is the utopia of societies but will never be achieved

3 dni temu
SeanEee
SeanEee

@Andrea M communism would make thing infinitly worse

4 dni temu
Andrea M
Andrea M

Nah, this could be solved without going that far.

4 dni temu
Aditya Rawat
Aditya Rawat

This is communism 101

4 dni temu
volcom0205
volcom0205

ye

4 dni temu
Maxime Van den Eynde
Maxime Van den Eynde

The errors of capitalism. WORKERS UNITE ALREADY GODDAMMIT!

4 dni temu
Ravenclaw
Ravenclaw

Elon musk is richer now

4 dni temu
楊學翰
楊學翰

Time to make a "If I had all the money Elon has"

4 dni temu
Rouel Andrew Pulma
Rouel Andrew Pulma

Alright who's thinking of kidnapping Bezos after watching this?

4 dni temu
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]

Eat the rich baby

4 dni temu
Keenan Zibert
Keenan Zibert

a person's net worth is different from actual money in possession of said person

4 dni temu
Ed dy
Ed dy

very true. its just not the same. if he would cash out all that money a lot of things would break down, same goes for Musk. He cant get that money out and so he cant use that money, I am sure he cant even use 50% of that money.

4 dni temu
Evan Tsukahara
Evan Tsukahara

For ppl who don’t know the majority of his net worth is tied into assets or stocks. And you might ask yourself why downs the just sell. Well if he sells it then the Amazon stocks tank and that would destroy a good chunk of the economy

4 dni temu
Morgan Marz
Morgan Marz

AND BEZOS ISN'T DOING THOSE THINGS?!

4 dni temu
Morgan Marz
Morgan Marz

@Matthew Delzer *Sigh* But still....

4 dni temu
Matthew Delzer
Matthew Delzer

@Morgan Marz I mean he doesn’t really have that much money to spend, net worth is different than just money he can spend

4 dni temu
Morgan Marz
Morgan Marz

@Ed dy Tf? I would- it bothers me to have things go unused. Unfortunately that makes me a little less save-savy than most....

4 dni temu
Ed dy
Ed dy

no one would do those things

4 dni temu
Mr. Awesome
Mr. Awesome

Now it's if I had the money that Musk has

5 dni temu
Samuel
Samuel

I'm sure Bezos could easily crash the economy

5 dni temu
Gabriella Stein
Gabriella Stein

I honestly don’t understand people who have this much money and just don’t help people... like why? Makes me so mad.

5 dni temu
Lord Lopikong
Lord Lopikong

Wow, your naive to the world aren't you

3 dni temu
Weeris
Weeris

Do you even know how net-worth works

4 dni temu
Chris P. Bacon
Chris P. Bacon

This is depressing because he could give everyone a home and pay for cancer worldwide but he won’t

5 dni temu
I'm a goat
I'm a goat

Bezos get on this, you make loads per hour, even if your net worth goes down to, and I cant bear say it, only 1 billion dollars (•○•) youd make back the rest of it in just a few years.

5 dni temu
Gray Mandelbaum
Gray Mandelbaum

Based CollegeHumor

5 dni temu
Elera Osaroedey
Elera Osaroedey

Elon Musk is now richer, will CH do a new track?

5 dni temu
Gus Ciousi
Gus Ciousi

I’m sure you wouldn’t do that if you had his money. It’s easy talking about what you would do in a hypothetical situation.

5 dni temu
Daniel Walter
Daniel Walter

Update this with Elon Musk

5 dni temu
Lethal Eternal
Lethal Eternal

Well to be honest I would create profitable businesses that both specialize in gathering garbage and resources found in the earths oceans. Repurpose them for regular day use as making reusable resources, and build carbon catchers around the planet then condense it to form artificial diamonds to make some money to fund other projects.This reducing the amount of CO2 around the world buying humanity more time to fix the earth. Then I would invest in more agricultural fields allowing everyone more cheaper opportunities to grow their own food, or creating stores with the ability to grow their own fresh products to sell year round in a safe container environment away from parasites. Reducing shipping costs for stores and supermarkets having to constantly import products. Once everyone is good at home I would then focus on colonizing other planets such as mars. It is my belief the only right we have to terraform another planet is first making sure our own species can survive. Of course I would invest in technology that would provide more power to them and make sure each facility has a spare battery. If I am going to be honest I don’t understand why the engineers in most movies I see don’t create temporary generators that can use the any extra engine fuel in their ships as emergency reserves in case a blackout happens. Then once we got a few people up there I would invest in building a space station with artificial gravity creating a ship that can safely go back and forth between the planets picking up and dropping off resources and personnel. I would still create more businesses similar to what Elon musk has made with his new Tesla care and even more underwater research investing in mining resources from the ocean and even exploring the area too. If we find new life forms in the ocean we can study them and use the newly gained knowledge to update our machines to replicate them. And if life is found on Mars it could give more knowledge on how life began and how we may be able to manufacture species that can be beneficial to us. Though this is just an idea, I kinda care more for the bigger picture and focus on reducing the problems on earth first.

5 dni temu
BluE68
BluE68

Now make one called "If I had the money that Musk has"

5 dni temu
Just Some YT user
Just Some YT user

I'm sad...

5 dni temu
George Salisbury
George Salisbury

When schools reopen, I'm gonna get them to sing this in assembly!

5 dni temu
Conner Schopp
Conner Schopp

that would have been great if it ended with "But i dont have the money that bezos has"

5 dni temu

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